Saturday, November 10, 2007


Texas is blessed
The Lord looked upon the Lone Star and smiled
He sent four angels to walk the path of its boundary
defining the extent of His Principality

They would consume the black oil
in all ways the mental faculty could fathom
drinking was first, then bathing,
these two most favored by Him.
It was boiled to a paste,
sometimes spread on bread, others baked into cakes
As a lubricant it was unparalleled,
attaining a revered place in the marital bed
They filled ponds with its inkiness,
canoing and rowing in romantic splendor
with enough left over to wash the dishes
A lady would not be seen in public without eye shadow
Bidets were in style, oil cleansing mortal filth
Most reverently, the heads of His flock were baptized in Living Oil

This is all as He commanded
The blessings of the Texans would continue forever and anon
When Kingdom comes,
and the faithless are exposed to unending heat,
finding no succor in the shadow of black smoke,
eating rotten fruit and drinking boiling water,
the black oil will warm the hearts of Texas.

© Michael Mosher


Blogger Christina said...

This is fucking fabulous!!

1:10 PM  

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